Taymesan, a Nigerian media personality, has talked candidly about the trauma he experienced as a result of not having both of his parents raise him.
Tamy is from a famliy of 6 from his mum and 3 from his dad, during his interview with Pulse Nigeria, he spoke on his upbringing being raised by his grandmother, as opposed to his mum and dad, stressing that he initially didn’t have any issues with it.
He explained, “I didn’t exactly feel any type of way when I was growing up because I thought that was the normal family setting. My granny was well to do and she’d send us to the best schools and I was provided for , but when I started getting older, this lack of familial setting started affecting me in my twenties.”
In his twenties, he began to realise some of the issues he developed abandonment issues and other trauma responses.
“I suffered from abandonment issues, I also was very guarded and didn’t want to be seen by people. Even in my teens, my grandma did everything that she could buy I think I needed to be groomed by both parents. So when I didn’t have that I turned to myself and became very independent too soon and I started guarding myself,” he said.
He continued, “When I got into the real world ,I realise that people aren’t as nice as my granny so I started looking for mechanisms to protect myself. I did that for so long that I now have walls up that I couldn’t bring down even if I tried.”
The media personality revealed that humour was one trait in particular that he picked up as a defense mechanism.
He said, “Humour was one of the mechanisms I picked up in uni, I could make everybody laugh but I used it to turn everyone away from me.”
“Humour was one of those things I used to make people happy being around me, so I was accepted. I was looking for validation and I was a chronic people pleaser,” he added.
Tamy recalled driving along lekki at 26 when he told God he said ”God If You Know That You Take Me Now, I have Done My Time” And that moment he prayed to God to help him Fix his life that lacked peace of mind and emptiness. He said God kept him in church for 2 years and thought him Gods love, people pleasing stopped, identity crises stopped, and God healed him and made him whole!!
