Dating a Nigerian woman is an experience on its own.
It is a romantic voyage filled with love, laughter, food, emotions, family, expectations, occasional drama and moments that will make you wonder whether you are in a relationship or writing a final-year project.
Before you enter the relationship, make sure you have patience, good communication skills and enough emotional intelligence to understand that “I’m fine” does not always mean everything is fine.
The Nigerian woman can be a beautiful combination of strength and softness. She can tell you, “I don’t need anybody,” and, shortly afterwards, ask, “So you don’t even care about me?”
At that point, please don’t start an argument about the contradiction.
Just listen.
Dating a Nigerian woman also means becoming familiar with different versions of the word “okay.”
There is the normal “Okay.”
There is the “Okay.” with a full stop.
There is “It’s fine.”
There is “Do whatever you want.”
And then there is the famous:
“I’m not angry.”
A man who has been in a Nigerian relationship for a while understands that these words sometimes require further investigation.
You may even need to ask:
“Baby, are you sure?”
And she says:
“Yes.”
You ask again:
“Really?”
“Yes.”
But something in her voice tells you that the meeting has not been adjourned.
Then comes the question every Nigerian man has probably heard:
“Where are you?”
“I’m at home.”
“Who is with you?”
At this point, you begin to realise that your girlfriend may not be a police officer, but she can conduct an investigation without wearing a uniform.
And please, never underestimate her memory.
You may forget the exact date you met.
She may remember it.
You may forget what you said during an argument two years ago.
She may remember the exact words, the time, the location and possibly what you were wearing.
Nigerian women do not necessarily keep grudges.
Some of them keep archives.
But beyond the jokes, many Nigerian women simply want to feel loved, respected, valued and considered.
She may be independent and still want to be pampered.
She may have her own money and still appreciate a man who says, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”
She may be strong enough to handle her own problems but still want a partner who notices when she is tired and asks, “How can I help?”
Then there is family.
Dating a Nigerian woman may eventually make you realise that your relationship has acquired a board of directors.
Her mother knows about you.
Her sister knows about you.
Her best friend knows about you.
And depending on the family, the woman selling provisions near their house may also know your name.
Then one day, she casually tells you:
“My mummy wants to talk to you.”
Suddenly, your voice changes.
“Good evening, ma.”
“How are you doing, ma?”
“Yes, ma.”
“No problem, ma.”
“Yes, ma, I understand.”
You are answering questions with the seriousness of someone defending a doctoral thesis.
Nobody warned you that falling in love could come with an oral examination.
And then there is food.
Food is a serious matter in Nigerian relationships.
A Nigerian woman can ask, “Have you eaten?” with genuine concern.
If she cooks for you, please appreciate it.
Do not eat the food, look at her and say:
“It’s okay.”
That may be the beginning of a new chapter in your relationship.
The correct words are:
“It’s delicious.”
“You really tried.”
“This is very nice.”
And, where necessary:
“Please give me more.”
There is also the Nigerian woman who says she is not hungry while watching you eat.
“I’m not hungry.”
Five minutes later:
“Give me a little.”
That “little” may eventually become almost half of your food.
But because love is patient, you are expected to share.
Then there is fashion.
A Nigerian woman can stand in front of a wardrobe filled with clothes and still say:
“I have nothing to wear.”
The man looking at the wardrobe must resist the temptation to ask an unnecessary question.
His job is simply to say:
“You look beautiful.”
Sometimes, that one sentence can save an entire evening.
But underneath all the comedy is something important.
A Nigerian woman is not one particular type of person.
She can be ambitious, career-driven, family-oriented, outspoken, quiet, playful, traditional, modern, independent, emotional, prayerful or any combination of these.
She has her own personality, dreams, expectations and imperfections.
And when she genuinely loves you, she can become one of your strongest supporters.
She can celebrate your victories as though they were her own.
She can encourage you when things are difficult.
She can pray for you.
She can worry about you.
She can remind you about things you forgot.
She can annoy you.
You can annoy her too.
And somehow, after the argument, both of you may still end up asking:
“So, what are we eating?”
That is the funny thing about relationships.
They are not always perfect.
Sometimes love is flowers, dinner and romantic messages.
Other times, love is sending transport fare, checking whether someone got home safely, listening to the same story for the third time or simply sitting beside someone after a difficult day.
Dating a Nigerian woman is therefore not simply about romance.
It is about understanding another human being.
It is about communication.
It is about respecting differences.
It is about learning each other’s language even when that language is sometimes “I’m fine.”
There will be calm days.
There will be arguments.
There will be laughter.
There will be misunderstandings.
There will be family meetings.
There will be food.
There may even be moments when both of you genuinely cannot remember how an argument started.
But if there is love, respect, friendship and willingness to grow together, the journey can be beautiful.
So, what is it like dating a Nigerian woman?
It is a voyage.
Not always a smooth one.
Not always predictable.
But certainly one capable of giving you stories you will remember for a very long time.
And if you are lucky enough to find the right woman, you may discover that the greatest part of the voyage is not the drama, the laughter or even the romance.
It is having someone who chooses to walk the journey with you.
Just remember one thing before you begin:
When a Nigerian woman says, “I’m fine,” you may want to ask one more time.
Written By Enitan Mudashiru
MUK TV
